I don't want to alarm you, but there's a Star Wars geek behind you dressed up as Darth Maul or something...
Rose Byrne, Patrick Wilson, Ty Simpkins, Lin Shaye, Barbara Hershey, Leigh Whannell, Angus Sampson
Josh: First line of a joke, right? Guy comes home and finds his wife with a priest?
Not long after moving into a new house, a family starts experiencing strange phenomenon. After young Dalton (Simpkins) slips into some sort of mysterious coma, the odd occurrences begin to escalate.
For this review, I did something that I did before with Iron Man 2. I just wrote down my thoughts as I watched the movie. I tried to keep it spoiler free, but there’s probably some story elements revealed along the way, so read at your own risk. Not that there’s much to spoil in this movie…
Without FURTHER ado…
Okay, creepy-ish face right from the get-go…not bad.
Ah, Rose Byrne…I do love me some Rose Byrne…
And now she’s singing!
Only in the movies do kids go exploring dark attics right after doors mysteriously open by themselves.
I like that the parents seem nice and get along.
Was I supposed to see something outside that window?? What were we focusing on there…?
Bad acting, doc, bad acting.
See, this is why I would never want a baby monitor. If it’s not picking up aliens, it’s picking up ghostly voices.
Yeah kid, I’d be a little scared of your comatose brother walking around at night too.
They have the creakiest creaky wood floors ever!
Okay, this is officially enough weird stuff happening to warrant moving out of the house immediately.
Please tell me they at least called the police after all of that!
Aaaaaand, they’re still in the house.
Oh boy, here we go…same ol’ plot device…the wife/mom is always the one who knows something strange is afoot, while the husband doubts it and/or doesn’t want to deal with it.
Uh oh, he said the F word.
Yay, they’re leaving the house! ‘Bout time. But I’m guessing moving doesn’t help. Not against…Insidious!
Tiny Tim music? Okay, that IS frightening.
Creepy kids running about? Time to try a hotel maybe?
Who is this lady?
Uh oh, Specs and Tucker…the comedy relief paranormal investigators! Let the funny begin!
It’s funny ’cause they’re geeks and they like Star Trek and stuff…
Seriously, can Insidious go ahead and kill them now?
Ooooh, that other lady is Patrick Wilson’s mother…I should have figured that out.
Elise has arrived! I can’t wait for the part where she declares “this house is clean.”
The Further? What the WHAT??
Way to astro-travel, Dalton, sheesh.
“It’s a little unorthodox.” Ya don’t say…
Here we go again, the dad still doesn’t think anything strange is going on? What about all the shizz he’s seen go down already??
Oh c’mon movie, you’re better than this.
Okay good, back on track a bit…
Finally, all heck breaks loose!
This has potential…
She’s the Dr. Seuss of psychics. “Now you’re outside, let my voice be your guide, keep a steady stride…into the Further you go.”
Ugh…did he wander into Disney’s Haunted Mansion? This is getting silly.
Okay, the train is officially off the tracks. This has turned laughable.
How did he-…what happened to the-…where did-…what’s going on??
Bad movie! No! Bad! Go to your room! You sit there and think about what you’ve done!
And don’t come out until you’re ready to apologize!!
Rose Byrne deserves better roles than this…
10 – 1 for recycling so many scary movie cliches and telegraphing most of the scares – 3 for that horrible, awful, silly ending – .4 for kind of not being made all that well (technically speaking) = 5.6