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The Robot Who Likes Pretty Things

~ Movies are God's way of reminding us of how boring our lives are.

The Robot Who Likes Pretty Things

Tag Archives: Diane Lane

Man of Steel (2013)

12 Thursday Dec 2013

Posted by nothatwasacompliment in Action, Drama, Movies, Science Fiction

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Tags

Action, Amy Adams, Diane Lane, Drama, Henry Cavill, Kevin Costner, Laurence Fishburne, Man of Steel, Michael Shannon, Movie, Russell Crowe, Science Fiction

only ONE american flag in this shot?  c'mon...

only ONE american flag in this shot? c’mon…

What do you get when you take Superman, sprinkle in a little Jesus, pour in a few cups of Battlestar Galactica, and then smother it with Matrix Revolutions?  You get this…mess of a movie.

Superman has always been a problematic hero since he’s just too powerful.  Thus, either his powers have to be taken away, or he has to face a villain with equal powers.  This movie basically combines the 1978 and 1980 Superman movies into one, but layers even more convoluted plot lines on top of those stories.  Oh, and more explosions and stuff.  There’s more of that too.  A lot more.

Would someone please make a Superman movie where we see what being Superman would really be like?  The emotional turmoil experienced by someone who could easily just take over the planet and be its ruler in the name of creating real peace.  Yeah, Superman IV touched on this a little with his “quest for peace”, but that movie was awful in ways that most movies could never dream of, so…it doesn’t count.

Or maybe we could see how frustrated Superman is by not being able to save everybody all the time.  He’s only so fast.

I dunno…something besides…this.  This is just indestructible people throwing each other through buildings over and over again.  It lacks…humanity.  Superman doesn’t really seem to care about people in this movie the way he does in the first couple with Christopher Reeve.  If he did, he would have led these villains away from the big city and out into the country somewhere.  But no, he’s happy to throw them through populated buildings and city streets causing incredible amounts of damage.

Just one of the many things in this disappointing movie that doesn’t make sense.

Oh, and the special effects are pretty crappy at times.

4.9/10 

Untraceable (2008)

17 Thursday Sep 2009

Posted by nothatwasacompliment in Drama, Movies, Suspense

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Billy Burke, Colin Hanks, Diane Lane, Drama, Movie, Suspense, Untraceable

c'mon...I'm vaguely interested in you, and I'm the only available guy in the movie...whaddya say?

c'mon...I'm vaguely interested in you, and I'm the only available guy in the movie...whaddya say?

R

Diane Lane, Colin Hanks, Billy Burke

Jennifer: So, why did the subject pick him?
Det. Box: Subject? Are we in science class?
Jennifer: What would you prefer?
Det. Box: How about “piece of s***”?

FBI agent Jennifer Marsh (Lane) spends her days tracking down criminals on the internet. One day a new site shows up which displays a cat being gradually killed. The more viewers that hit the site, the faster the cat dies. While the FBI races to find the person responsible, the site escalates the stakes by going from cats to humans.

I believe it was Walt Kelly who said, “We have met the enemy, and he is us.” That’s pretty much what this movie is saying. It’s pointing a big finger right back at the viewer who gets a kick out of seeing death, torture, and human tragedy every day in movies and on the internet. Yes, it is preachy.

It’s also a bunch of stuff we’ve seen before. Many times. The FBI agent, Marsh, with a troubled past, her goofy partner, Griffin (Hanks), and the gruff detective who kinda sorta maybe has a romantic bond with the female lead. Then there’s the intricate killing devices straight out of the Saw movies, and a villain with an important moral message he wants everyone to hear.

As preachy as it is, there probably is an interesting point here about how easily people can remove themselves from violence and tragedy when it’s just a video on a computer screen. I have no doubt that if a website like that really appeared, it would quickly get enough hits to kill off the unfortunate victim. That’s not to say the visitors would be guilty of murder exactly, as the killer in the movie implies. Just a bad case of morbidity really.

Anyway, back to the movie. It’s not that dull, but it’s not that exciting either. The acting is okay, and it has a decent look to it. It’s just so by the numbers that there’s nothing to get enthused about. Unless you like seeing people killed in unusual ways. In which case, I’m sure you can find better examples of that on the internet.

Don’t let your 8 year old use the same computer you use for your secret FBI work.

10 – 3 for overall unoriginality – .6 for being preachy – .4 for predictability – .4 for boring characters = 5.6

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