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boom! ninjas!

R

Rain, Naomie Harris, Ben Miles

Ryan: Alright, here’s a question for you.  Which of these words does not belong in this sentence?  Laptop, space shuttle, nano-technology…ninja.

Ninjas!

Let’s face it.  Everybody loves ninjas.  Men want to be ninjas, and women want to be WITH ninjas.  It’s a fact of life.

That’s why it’s so disappointing that this movie reduces these pinnacles of personal achievement to some sort of monsters lurking in the darkness.  Ninjas are people too, hello movie makers!  The only one that isn’t a mindless killing machine is the main character, Raizo.  But he left the ninja clan, so he’s allowed to have feelings I guess.  The rest of them may as well just be creatures from one of the Alien movies.  They swarm upon you suddenly, dropping from the ceiling and killing mercilessly.

Okay, in all seriousness, this is a silly movie.  Basically, a researcher, Mika (Harris), has been reading up on modern day ninja assassins, and then herself becomes a target.  Raizo (Rain) is the super-ninja that protects her.  This provides the excuse for several big ninja fights that look more suited for a Matrix sequel.  Some of it is kinda cool, but it gets old quick.  Unless you just love seeing people’s limbs getting sliced off in slow motion.

I don’t…

Ninjas are filled with red paint…and spend an enormous amount of money on throwing stars.

10 – 3.5 because it’s monotonous and silly – 1 for most of the fight scenes being too dark and over-edited = 5.5