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ok, here's the deal...hand over the hat, and I won't kill you...


Sylvester Stallone, Michael Caine, Rachel Leigh Cook, Mickey Rourke, Alan Cumming, Miranda Richardson

Doreen: So, you ever been to prison?  …for how long?
Carter: How ’bout this weather?
Doreen: C’mon…
Carter: What do you say we change the subject?
Doreen: Alright, fine…you ever shoot anybody?

Jack Carter’s (Stallone) brother has just been killed in a car accident, prompting Carter to leave Las Vegas, where he is a mob enforcer, and investigate the death back home.

Stallone.  You see that name up on the marquee and you pretty much know what you’re going to get.  Punching.  Lots of punching.  Maybe a car chase or two, some guns, unintelligible dialogue, and probably a half-hearted morality lesson as well.

In Get Carter, a remake of a 1971 movie starring Michael Caine in Stallone’s role, the punching and car chases are prominently on display, while the gun play is at a minimum.  As far as a moral to the story goes…well, I’ll leave that for the Lesson Learned section.

Basically, Stallone walks around the movie being intimidating and accusing various people of being involved in his brother’s death.  Everybody denies it, before sending him off in another direction.  Occasionally he beats somebody up or gets in a car chase, all the while avoiding getting even a speck of dirt on his expensive suits.

The lovely Rachel Leigh Cook is Doreen, Carter’s now fatherless niece.  She seems sad and aimless, so Carter befriends her, hoping to steer her life in a better direction.  If you think she might have a secret that will become critical to the plot, then congratulations, you’ve seen a movie before!

This one is pretty much all by the numbers, with attempts at twists that you can see coming a long way off.  I’ll admit though, I sort of enjoyed it.  Not a lot, but more than I would usually like this kind of movie.  It’s too repetitive, with the parade of accusations and denials, but the relationship between Carter and Doreen actually gives it a little bit of heart.

Don’t fret, though, it doesn’t stray from the punching for too long…

If you’re going to kill somebody, do a background check.  Make sure they don’t have any really dangerous relatives living in Las Vegas that would seek revenge at the drop of a hat.

10 – 3 for the repetitive story structure – .5 for boring car chases – 1 for predictability + .2 because I just like Rachel Leigh Cook = 5.7