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my flashlight's bigger than your flashlight...


Kate Beckinsale, Tom Skerritt, Gabriel Macht, Columbus Short

Jack: I have plans tonight.
Carrie: Microwave popcorn and a six pack is not plans.

Carrie Stetko (Beckinsale) is a U.S. Marshal stationed in Antarctica.  Her usually boring gig there is one day interrupted by the discovery of a murdered scientist.  Her investigation into the murder leads her into a continually more dangerous situation.

Wow, this movie has everything!  Uninspired directing, dull characters, adequate acting, a simple yet confusing plot, a shower scene at the beginning that redefines gratuitous, and one big incomprehensible fight scene in the snow.

Seriously, I’m not going to spend much time talking about this movie.  It’s not even in so-bad-it’s-good territory, it’s just boring and pointless.  The MacGuffin in the movie is a case of metal canisters taken from a Russian plane that crashed in Antarctica 50 years ago.  People want them…people will kill for them…and Carrie Stetko has to find out why!

If you do get stuck watching this, don’t bother trying to figure out who’s who and why they want those canisters.  It doesn’t matter.  None of it does.  The payoff isn’t interesting or surprising, and you’ll just feel annoyed that you committed any brain power to trying to follow the plot.

Don’t climb down into deep, icy holes in Antarctica.

10 – 2 for a dull, confusing plot – 1 for most of the action scenes being barely visible – 2 for bland characters and blander dialogue – .5 for poor use of flashbacks = 4.5