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please help!  my jelly donut...it just exploded!

please help! my jelly donut...it just exploded!

PG-13

Haley Bennett, Jake Weber

Joseph: Books?  You’re looking s*** up in books?  Isn’t that what computers are for?

Molly Hartley (Bennett) is haunted by…something…sort of.

Well, it’s October, and I figured I’d get in the Halloween mood by watching a scary movie.  I’ll let you know when I find one.  This movie is not scary or interesting or entertaining.  It is short, though, so it’s got that going for it.

It’s a big collection of horror movie cliches featuring a very dull cast of characters.  There’s the false scares (dogs, birds, etc) accompanied by loud blasts of music, lots of mirrors, whispers that only the young female lead can hear, spooky restrooms, conflict with the mean girl at school, and an overzealous religious girl trying to convince Molly that she needs to seek God.  All of which is filmed boringly and features low production values.

If you want to know more about the story (for some reason), it involves Molly having headaches and weird visions that she thinks is a sure sign that she’s going crazy just like her mother did.  Her mom tried to kill Molly when she was younger because she believes Molly is destined to be taken over by something evil.  I don’t want to spoil anything for you, but…Molly’s mom is probably right.

My advice?  Watch something else.

The symptoms of having a tumor in your nasal cavity are basically the same as the symptoms of being haunted by some sort of ultimate evil.

10 – 3 for being cliched and unoriginal – 2.3 for dull characters – .4 for a stupid, tonally inconsistent ending = 4.3