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Corey Haim...box office GOLD

Corey Haim...box office GOLD

R

Jason Statham, Amy Smart

Chevy: There is one I never got to, on account of I could never find him.  The one who calls himself, “The Ferret”.
Venus: El Huron…
Chevy: You know him?
Venus: No, it means the ferret in Spanish.
Chevy: Right…I knew that.

Somehow Chevy Chelios (Statham) survived his ordeal at the end of the first Crank movie, but now his “super heart” has been removed and replaced with an artificial heart that will only be kept beating if he constantly provides it with electricity.  Can he find those who are out to kill him before his heart ultimately gives out?  And does anybody care…?

There’s a well known saying about curiosity and what troubles it can lead to, and my experience with this movie once again proved that saying as valid.  I was curious as to how a sequel could possibly be made after Mr. Chelios fell thousands of feet from a helicopter onto a car.  How could he possibly survive that, I wondered.  Well…they don’t really explain how he survived that, so I’m left to assume that he’s just one of the first signs of the genetic mutations seen in the X-Men movies.  Seems like the only reasonable explanation to me.

As for the movie, I hated it.  Whatever trace amounts of charm and wit the first one had seem to have been removed along with Chevy’s heart.  We’re left with a movie that surpasses the original in its violence, tastelessness, offensiveness, and exploitation.  At some point I just stopped watching and started staring at the wall or reading internet articles while I waited for the movie to end.  For a relatively short movie, it seemed awfully long.

This movie is just disgusting and useless and I suggest nobody bothers seeing it.  And that’s about all I have to say about that…

Don’t watch another Crank movie. (yes, they left it open for another sequel)

10 – 8.8 because it’s disgusting and offensive and stupid and not funny or interesting = 1.2